I expected it to hurt, but not this much. Even though I've had to do this before, it wasn't the same then as it is now.
No tears, though.
The more I gave, the more I knew I'd feel this way in the end, but I still wasn't prepared for it. I'm experiencing a strange paradox, one in which I'm ready for change and yet I don't want it to come.
But I'm fine. No tears.
The whole part of my heart feels more like a hole. My head pounds, my stomach hurts, and I miss you. Endings have always been hard because I'm caught in a loop where endings make the fear grow stronger and fear makes the endings more frightening.
I'm not fine, but I will be eventually. No tears.