Friday

Kid Fears

Even though I'm all grown up, I'm still afraid of the dark. The dark outside is bad enough, but the darkness inside my head is worse.

I would have told you I was scared, but I didn't want to lie. The truth is, I wasn't scared, I was terrified. Still am. I'm terrified that you're a tourist. That you're here to vacation in my life for a little while and then cut and run once you get bored of me.

Am I right? Because my heart is too invested in you, and it's not paying off anymore. Maybe if I'd put more in, it would have been enough to tip the scales in our favor. Maybe I wasn't committed enough, but I'm scared of commitment too.

No, this investment isn't failing because I didn't put in enough. It's because I put in too much.  I risked my heart and I'm going to lose it all.

Sunday

Galileo

Lies.

They are everywhere. They have become a part of life. Because of them, there are unanswered questions, unbearable pains, and unsatisfied hearts. But that's just life.

And we wonder. Are the lies aware of the damage they do every time they slip between our lips? Do they know what they are? Do they resent their nature, or have they learned to accept their destructive tendencies?

It doesn't matter, in the end, because whether the lies know it or not, we do. We know the damage we can cause every time we open our mouths. We weigh the consequences of our words, our actions, and determine that it's better to hide our flaws, our imperfections, our unpopular opinions, our very identities.

We search for truth, for anything finite that we can hold onto, and in the next breath we hide ourselves from everyone who is watching. The hypocrisy is astounding. We search for truth while continuing to lie. But that's just life.

Perhaps the lies don't know what they are, but we know the damage we do when we lie.

And we lie anyway.