It used to be hot outside. I felt the warmth of the sunlight in my hair and on my back and under my skin. It seeped into my entire being and I liked it too much to ask it to leave. Back then, the only person I wanted to talk to was him, and he was the only thing I wanted to talk to other people about. Back then, the temperature outside matched what I felt inside.
When the leaves changed color, so did I.
The heat inside me gradually dissipated into a thin mist of unwanted apathy overshadowed by a foggy desire to feel anything else. I still cared from a distance, but that distance grew wider and I grew silent, hoping my unspoken words would be understood.
But nobody listened to my silence, and I learned to hold my tongue.
Alone with my thoughts, I avoided thinking in favor of feeling. It didn't matter why it all happened, only that it did, and that now, although he is gone, he is everywhere. Even the eerie light surrounding the drinking fountain in a dark hallway reminds me of him.
No matter how dark the hallway is, he's still gone.
What was once green and gold and airy summer turned into blue, silver, icy winter. Now all I feel is the cold wind that pierces every part of me, and there's nobody to hold my hand and warm me from the inside out. When the sun goes down it gets colder outside, and the more that happens, the further I am from everything around me. The way I feel still matches the weather.
And I am nowhere close to fine.
But nobody listened to my silence, and I learned to hold my tongue.
Alone with my thoughts, I avoided thinking in favor of feeling. It didn't matter why it all happened, only that it did, and that now, although he is gone, he is everywhere. Even the eerie light surrounding the drinking fountain in a dark hallway reminds me of him.
No matter how dark the hallway is, he's still gone.
What was once green and gold and airy summer turned into blue, silver, icy winter. Now all I feel is the cold wind that pierces every part of me, and there's nobody to hold my hand and warm me from the inside out. When the sun goes down it gets colder outside, and the more that happens, the further I am from everything around me. The way I feel still matches the weather.
And I am nowhere close to fine.
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