Our Deliverance

Colder weather,
summer fading into winter
without autumn ever seeing the sun,
and I go back to the place I used to call
home.

Anticipation fills me as I grow nearer,
and I feel like I can hardly wait.
I let myself in at midnight and crawl into
the bed that's always kept for me,
stealing a pillow from my sister--
she has more than enough.
In the morning my siblings are excited to see me,
but an hour  later I'm anxious to leave again.
I've outstayed my welcome and am just waiting
for someone to let me know that.

I miss it as soon as I'm gone,
and I want to talk about it but I don't
until the next day, when I try to talk through
the pain I don't want to be feeling.

My family never fails to hurt me,
whether they mean to or not. My friends
are what keep me from hurting myself.