Touch Me Fall

You don't know what to do with days like this,
when you haven't left your house
and then it's dark outside again.
When you speak barely a string of sentences
to another person for hours,
and you stay inside.

Some days there is solace in the being alone;
today is not one of those days.
Running the same playlist on repeat helps,
or at least that's what you tell yourself.
You don't know what you're feeling or why,
and you're afraid to consider it too much.

You don't mean to cry but you do,
and you can't separate the tears of sorrow
from those of anger, and you realize
that you are so much more than that:
gratitude, pain, confusion, healing,
love, rage, fear, fury, uncertainty

all find their place within your cracks.

It may not be as bad as you think,
but that doesn't stop you from crying over it.