Every morning I wake up and drag myself out of bed for another day of work and school. I go to the same classes and read the same textbooks. I try to talk to the same people, although I often remain distant. I doze off during class because I never seem to get enough sleep. When I get home I waste time as efficiently as possible. This is my routine.
The routine can be comfortable. If I perform well in my classes I'll get good grades and gold stars and maybe a career where I can go to work every day to make a good paycheck and fall into another comfortable routine. I can continue to avoid social settings and it's okay because I have an excuse in that it's what I've always done. So few people have bothered to connect with me, and I've become comfortable with that. With wasting time on Netflix and with my nose in a book. Time well wasted, but still a part of the repetition I call life.
I've decided I don't want a routine. I don't want my life to turn into a repetitive, monotonous schedule, at the end of which I'm relieved for it to be over. But now I have a problem. I'm so used to this routine that I don't know how to break it.
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